now

dated

urgent

bingo

Gonna take it right into the danger zone. - 2001-07-11 - 6:01 p.m.

It takes a lot of restraint on my part to keep from opening every one of these entries with a string of obscenities.

--no, we're not doing that today. Fuck this SophistiKatie bullshit; I'm going to SCREAM. Or as much as one can, considering the context.

Fucking Christ almighty with head sliced off in pieces why the HELL are all these tourists asking me questions when don't they know me I'm Katie I'm motherfucking 20 years old, go find your own spare towel, clean up yr own mess and don't pee on the changing-room floor IF THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

I'm bored and contained and tight and agitated and ugly in my inadequacy to express it...

What's worse is that this is one of those days in which everyone and everything is ugly as well, like the cruddy stoplight or some guy's flattop or a milkshake. All ugly all the time. GodFUCKINGdammmittohell, it's the piteousness of these images that is so infuriating, acting like they don't even know what a horrible environment this is, people all over town with decent amounts of money and I just look at them and scream inwardly WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Money, power, and sex. And the crushing neeeeeeeeed all fucking consumptive and forcing stream of consciousness writing out of me even though I swear to god I got it out of my system when I was fifteen. Ever crave your own kingdom? A billboard along the side of the highway that reads Welcome to (Insert Name Here)-Ville: One False Move and They'll Cut Off Yr Head?

And this whole ENTRY is so worthless as to make me CRINGE, and if there were anything in my life right now BESIDES false moves I would not hesitate to illustrate them. Haha, false moves. The kind that you make in yr chair at the office, flexing glutes and shifting from one foot to the other, stand up sit down trick body into thinking it's busy so it won't fly through the glass of the window. It generally seems to work okay.

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